Mysteries Abysmal

Trouble is my business

Every now and then I'll stir the pot on various anonymous message boards; lately I've been reading what the British have to say on the BBC boards--cheap jabs at Yanks seem to be chic over there, yet 95% of all threads started are in some way related to the U.S. (hypocrite warning!).  And recently I registered at an African-American/urban website to see what I've been missing.  As an Iowa boy who likes baseball, rock and classical music, this whitey loves experiencing the other side.  But what's really entertaining are the Christian message boards.  There's a great Christian site that has every discussion topic from music to autism.  I checked out the "classical" forum and came away with some memorable material:

how do the rest of you deal with the fact that many composers led less-than-exemplary lives? Tchaikovsky, Barber, and Britten among others were homosexual, Schumann and Smetana had serious mental issues, Berlioz became addicted to opium, and as for Wagner...!

Here's a good one on coping with guilt:

I love their music. I have no problem listening to it. I didn't "know" about Tchaikovsky, and it'll probably be a while before I can listen to his music and enjoy it again without feeling a little weird...

This one's on tolerance, and is also my favorite:

A while ago I played Debussy's Syrinx, accepting the compliments while staying silent about the pagan mythology that inspired the music.

I am easily amused. 

'Reverend from Hell'

Thought I'd educate y'all on the scariest man alive. I've been following Fred for the last couple years, and this was brought to my attention yesterday:
The congregants, when asked by the Topeka Capital-Journal in interviews years later, recalled an incident one Sunday morning when Phelps' infant son, Mark, began to squirm during a sermon; Phelps responded by repeatedly punching the baby in the face. Afterwards, several men of the congregation confronted Phelps about the attack. [23]
Phelps' dismissal from the church came when a female congregant admitted that she had committed adultery. The next Sunday, Phelps' sermon revolved around the woman, repeatedly referring to her as a whore and encouraging the congregation to draw up an official "form" declaring her to be damned to Hell and excommunicated from the church (a tactic he would later adopt frequently). Instead, the congregants voted to kick Phelps out of the church. Today, Phelps maintains that he left willingly because Cavin was not staunch enough of a Baptist.

If you wish to further humor yourself, give his two websites a go: here, and here.

What the hell's the matter with Kansas?

JesUSA

After reading this epic post from the always funny Clownsilly, I ran into this article on a hip church that is taking Des Moines and the country by storm. I guess this church "does things differently. During Christmas Eve services, two motorcycles tore down the aisles. The bikers represented outcast shepherds ushering Jesus into the world." We need to remember that reformers are into "worshipping God, not tradition." And they're "one of the nation's fastest-growing churches because they blend the gospel with coffee, rock music and movie clips." It's all about relevance today. I like what one message board poster said in response to this: "this ol' catholic boy can't quite buy into vegas style mass."

The Rev. Mike Housholder, right, knocks fists with the Rev. Pat Quaid following the 8:15 a.m. traditional service
(courtesy of poster Mr. Hawk)

However, I'll stay on the fence for this one; just spreading the word.

It's really too bad

I'm in very rural Iowa right now for a few days on vacation. I'm now sitting in Revelations coffee shop; a place that attracts all the liberal crystal rubbers from the nearby Maharishi School of Management. Actually, as I write this, I'd say I've seen more cultures and lifestyles represented here than most of my digs in yuppified Lincoln Park, Chicago.

But apart from the nice mix the Maharishi provides, southeast Iowa is painfully homogeneous. On the way down to the coffee shop, there was playing a Christian radio show out of Texas called The Parent Factor. Here's a taste:

Talk Show Host: Well, Mr. McAlister, certainly nice to have you on. My wife and I pray for you since you're a big role model for us.
Talk Show Guest: Well thank you Al. I sure am a strong man with all the people that pray for me.

TSH: I pray for your two sons too.
TSG: Well gosh darn, Al, that's the power of family. But right now my two teenage boys are in a war with satan, but they're not alone. EVERY teenager in the world right now is fighting Satan's temptation. But my wife and myself pray for 'em everynight. I used to be a crisis prayer, but now I pray for 'em everynight. And I pray for you too, Al.

TSH: Now ya got me crying, Mr. McAlister. I'm lookin' over at the other guys in the studio and they're cryin' now too! You sure got that powerful effect on people.
TSH: Well sir (laugh), the Lord is with us and that's all that matters.

as joshi might say, "oh god." I'd say the lack of taste from that dialogue is shared throughout most of Van Buren county.

Anyways, some nice photos forthcoming in the next day or so.