The dabbler

by Ab Manning

I listened to classical music for a few years as a teenager and got to know the Greatest Hits. I've returned after a 30-year hiatus and discovered Brahms' 1st symphony (which I will talk about eventually), but am still a dilettante, or dabbler. Here are the periods of classical music according to Dabbler scholars.

The Cavern (before 1700): All music before 1700 was choral music, and sung in the bellies of cavernous cathedrals. While every piece is initially haunting, that wears off quickly because the music is pretty stiff. But this is where Classical music got its chops together. (Note that in Dabbler culture the Beatles have replaced the Bible as the source of references that everyone is assumed to know - hear John saying 'told you so?').

The Math (1700 - 1755): Music that's got lots of patterns, but the emotional effects run mostly from pleasant to tedious. And although the Toccata and Fugue in D minor was clearly written by some crazy mutha', the period attempted a union of music and math that should not appropriately occur until the end of history.

The Hummer (1755-1827 or whenever Beethoven died): The great period in Classical music history. You can hum most of the music (remember: 'music' refers to what the Dabbler knows)

The Roanoke (1828 - 1855?) Another great period, with hummable classics like Mendelsohn's 4th symphony, his violin concerto, and a few piano pieces you can actually play, like Traumerei and the Prelude in B minor. But, like the ill-fated Virginia settlement, this period, and hummable music, vanished without a trace (mostly).

The Windbag (1855 - 1900): Long works that feel twice as long. And except for Tchaikovsky, the New World Symphony, and something by Wagner that got into 'Apocalypse Now', no hummable music. Oh yeah, the 2001 Space Odyssey theme.

The Aurtistic (1900 - present): You've heard that it's art, but you suspect all the composers were autistic, (Copland recovered). Or that they returned to math because they couldn't think of anything else to do. You do know Paul listened to Stockhausen, but you worry that if you spend $ 17 on a CD of string quarterts played in helicopters you'll feel like a sap when you find out you can't actually hear the quartets. Your impression is not so much that popular music's David knocked down the Classical Goliath, as that Goliath retreated from the field with a terrifying case of self-doubt or some disease of excessive self-analysis (how'd the Bible get in here?). You're also anxious and therefore ripe for discovering that something in this music will eventually appeal to you. Then you have another 100 years to catch up on.

Comments

[Brian]

I suppose you could divide the Aurtistic into Neo-Hummer and Neo-Roanoke............or maybe not.
:-)

Brian

[Bryant]

"Your impression is not so much that popular music's David knocked down the Classical Goliath..."

Amen. Not only knocked down, but repeatedly kicked in the jewels too.

I recall you blairing Penderecki once -- He's not exactly hummable.

[Ab]

Or Neo-Math. I think Mrs. Green made us sing 12-tone row your boat for music class. Pendercki: That was the 'Threnody...', which is a Greatest Hit and in most Longine Symphonette collections. Very hummable. Hum a note, hover, then glissando way up or down, over and over. ;)

[Chip Clark]

And what of film music? The film compositions over the last 30-40 years have really explored a variety of different styles...

so what would they be - the imagists?

[ab]

Imagists - that's right. Music that catches you when you think you're enjoying another medium. Although it rarely occurred to me to buy their product without the movie, which is probably why I forgot to mention them. And until recently I would not have known any to mention, but do now know the names of a very few, like Angelo Badalamenti and Jon Brion. But Bryant had a Bernard Hermann CD in high school, the sort of thing that separates real men from Dabblers.